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Dream Big

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Facing The Truth

Tracy01

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Big come back from his restart with Shane and I just wanted to get through my Level 1 and have a red string. I was on a roll with assignments and getting through the Level 1 ground work. I had a few resubs and Big and I were still finding our partnership etc. I went through saddling procedure and started to do the 1 rein pattern. I realised rather quickly that I was terrified of Big on the ground and in the saddle as he had kicked me, bitten me several times, would counter flex and would not canter - I continued to put on a brave face.

I was scared to take him anywhere by himself, even to simply walk him from a yard to an arena was completely daunting for me and my anxiety was through the roof, everything felt stressful with him. Instead of going through my phases with him, I would go straight to 10 due to my own fear. I am grateful that he was forgiving and cut me some slack or I could of been in a whole load of trouble. 

It occurred to me after 6 months that Big had some similar traits to my other horse Tagonal (who I had lost all my confidence with - Tags is another Blog) and after a not so good play with Big - I walked down the paddock to Tags and shared my hearts truth with him.

It was my lack of confidence, my fear, my brace when I rode that was causing all these challenges in my horses. This was hard to swallow as it wasn't my horses - it was my shit that was causing them to do the things they were doing.......

I wanted so badly for Tags and Big to trust me with their lives, though I didn't trust them with mine. I wanted this so badly that I knew it was time to start work on myself to become a better leader......

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Nice Trace, being a true horseman means that you will always be willing to dig deep, look at what needs to be changed...and be willing to do and go to where ever it needs to be to do that. 

Oh and being a nice person helps too! 

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This really resonated with me

“Wanted so badly for them to trust me with their lives but I didn’t trust them with mine “

thansk for sharing :) 

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