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About Tracy01

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  1. Tracy01

    The Day My Brain Left Me

    Thanks Mel, yes we certainly have come along way since that day and I am truly grateful for my family support, my coach and the support from the QS Family
  2. So I had established that the behavioral traits of my ponies was me and thought well I just need to be a better leader and get on with it. Easy right, no problem.... how bloody wrong was I. We had a workshop and lessons or something with Mel at Chambers Flat and I was pumped, okay I trying to fake it until I could make it. As soon as we drove it, I could feel my anxiety soar as there were horses everywhere and some polo cross game and I went to robotic mode, have a cigarette, unload horses, have a cigarette, get water for horses, have a cigarette, say hello to Mel, have a cigarette, Mel says go get your horse, have 5 cigarettes. I remember trying to tell myself all I had to do was get Big from the yard and focus to get to the arena as Mel is there. I got this, I had this and my anxiety, fear and smothered me. Big was aerial and believe me that's a whole lot of horse to have running around and up in the air and more frighten than I was. I could hear Mel's voice, though to this day I still cannot recall what she was yelling. I somehow got Big into the arena and I let him go as I honestly felt like I could not breath. Poor Big was frightened and I was the last human he felt safe with. I cannot remember how it all went, though Mel stepped in and helped Big out. I do recall Mel saying "What are you doing"? something about leadership and helping your horse out. The remainder of the day was blurry, I asked myself did I really want to go through with this, can I do this, should I leave Quantum Savvy. The easy option would of been to leave, though everything about Quantum Savvy resonated in my being. There was only thing to do as I had sent my horses for training to help with their confidence and emotional fitness - so I needed to do the same thing for them and myself.
  3. Tracy01

    Facing The Truth

    Big come back from his restart with Shane and I just wanted to get through my Level 1 and have a red string. I was on a roll with assignments and getting through the Level 1 ground work. I had a few resubs and Big and I were still finding our partnership etc. I went through saddling procedure and started to do the 1 rein pattern. I realised rather quickly that I was terrified of Big on the ground and in the saddle as he had kicked me, bitten me several times, would counter flex and would not canter - I continued to put on a brave face. I was scared to take him anywhere by himself, even to simply walk him from a yard to an arena was completely daunting for me and my anxiety was through the roof, everything felt stressful with him. Instead of going through my phases with him, I would go straight to 10 due to my own fear. I am grateful that he was forgiving and cut me some slack or I could of been in a whole load of trouble. It occurred to me after 6 months that Big had some similar traits to my other horse Tagonal (who I had lost all my confidence with - Tags is another Blog) and after a not so good play with Big - I walked down the paddock to Tags and shared my hearts truth with him. It was my lack of confidence, my fear, my brace when I rode that was causing all these challenges in my horses. This was hard to swallow as it wasn't my horses - it was my shit that was causing them to do the things they were doing....... I wanted so badly for Tags and Big to trust me with their lives, though I didn't trust them with mine. I wanted this so badly that I knew it was time to start work on myself to become a better leader......
  4. How exciting, I will be checking the mail box every day
  5. Looking For A Good Boy Horse - a few years ago I needed to find a horse to regain my confidence and Big as you all know him, had been offered to me. I had seen him several times over the years as he was spelled at our other property. I was offered him on lease and his description seemed perfect. Quite, could walk, trot and canter, no buck and no impulsion - PERFECT I WILL TAKE HIM. I had Big restarted by Shane, though he never raced - he was trialed and had learnt to use his size to push on humans. Oh did I mention he was young and green and was fond of tantrums. Big has also had some training with Mel to help us in our journey to date. Big is a good boy horse and I will go into detail in future blogs of our journey and how my own emotional fitness and leadership has been stretched.
  6. Tracy01


    Thanks for your thoughts, I will keep an eye on him, and see how we go
  7. Hi Everyone, Big Fella is happy to float load, he goes on every time, he stands still whilst divider is being closed and being tied in. He backs off slowly and does not appear to be troubled at all. Though, whilst waiting for another horse to be loaded, he paws and continues do so until we get going. This happens everytime we become stationary. I am not sure what to do to help him out. Thank you anyone who can help me to help my pony out
  8. Thank you so much everyone, look out level 2
  9. Congratulations Liv, truly inspiring
  10. Congratulations Georgia and Perl, well deserved as you have worked hard for this xx
  11. sending all our love and light
  12. Congratulations Fiona & Coolie 👏🌺🐴🤗
  13. Congratulations Tania on your amazing journey
  14. Congratulations Tye, you are inspiring
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